These Gifts We Bring Ye.
Our camera focuses on a neon Guinness sign as it slowly pans out and we see that the camera has been set up inside a bar. It’s a good looking bar with dark wood doors stools and countertops. Behind the counter a barkeep dressed in a dark Notre Dame kind of green polo stands polishing a beer mug. There is still a little light coming in from the windows of the tavern. As the camera looks around we see several light up shamrocks and advertisements for beer. The shooting pool in the corner of the bar is Shadow. He has already lined up his shot and takes it sinking the 6 ball. Slade is leaning against the juke box which just so happens to be playing a lively tune. In Slade’s right hand is a mug of dark beer, Shadow has a bottle of Harp on the edge of the pool table. He walks around the table and takes another shot putting the 7 ball into a pocket. Slade takes a big swig of his mug and looks over at the camera.
Slade- Well hello! Greeting’s from Miami Florida, this is the A.K.A. at Playwright Irish Pub & Restaurant on Washington Ave! Well with King of Kings just around the corner Shadow and I figured we would spend a little time with the culture of the town we will be rocking Saturday night.
Shadow doesn’t say anything instead he takes a shot at the 8 ball and doesn’t put it down. So he walks around and takes a second shot and succeeds. There is only one other pool ball on the table now aside from the cue ball. Shadow takes a final shot as it bounces off the rim and rolls into a pocket. He stands up triumphant and sets is pool cue across the table.
Slade- You know we’ve spent the last couple days sitting around thinking about everything that has gone on the past week or so. And we decided that you know with the Tag Team Turmoil on the horizon we should do something extremely nice for everyone. But we’ll get to that a little later on. First well while we were researching our opponents we learned a little something about you’ll. You see, the A.K.A. never goes into a match unprepared. We like to know our opponents inside and out. And well while we were looking we learned that Dragon is Irish. Hey!
Slade raises his mug and then chugs it.
Slade- Well we are not Irish, but we still enjoy a good pint of brew. And you know this is some good beer. So Dragon since we haven’t seen, nor heard from you since the you lost last week we wanted to try and do something to break the ice. We haven’t gotten to know each other, and we wanted to let you know that we know you, so there wont be a weird awkward phase in this match. We can skip the pleasantries and just go straight to the ass kicking. With this match just over the hill I can’t wait to find out if you’re even going to show up at the arena Saturday night. But with that in mind…
Shadow gets up and walks across the room to the bar and he hands the bartender his empty bottle. Then Shadow motions for something. The bartender ducks down below the counter and then comes back up with a six pack of Guinness. He sets the bottles on the counter top and Shadow smiles for the camera.
Slade- That’s right. Well Dragon we want you to feel at home when you wrestle us this weekend. So we got you a nice six pack of beer in hopes you’ll drink it and find the courage to actually get in the ring.
Shadow: Yeah, we didn’t know what to get your girls but this Dragon is for you.
Slade- That’s right. We’re in a giving mood tonight and Dragon we hope you appreciate this thoughtful and wonderful idea that Shadow had. Dragon, I wish I could say more about what’s to come but honestly I’m a little drunk and I wouldn’t want to say anything that might strike a nerve.
Slade walks over to the bar and hands the keep his mug. The bartender refills it and hands it to Slade who drinks it down.
Shadow: You know this is a nice six pack, but don’t worry we’re on our way to the arena after we finish up here and we’ll be sure to leave it in your room. But don’t worry we got you a cooler and some ice so it will still be frosty when you get there. So Dragon don’t be late Saturday. Your beer will get warm, and you might miss out on the free fighting lesson we’ll give you in the match.
Slade- You ready to head out Shadow?
Shadow nods and the two men throw down some crumpled up greenbacks and then walk out of the bar. The camera settles on the bartender who picks up the bills and straightens them out and puts them in the register.
When the camera cuts back it shows the entrance to the parking lot. The twin blue doors are still shut but you can hear footsteps coming from the other side of the door. Slade and Shadow’s voices are heard indistinct. Then the doors fly open. Cradled in Slade’s hand is a brown paper bag. Shadow has a small cooler in his. It swings with his arms as they walk down the hallway.
Slade- Well we’re at the wonderful American Airlines Arena and Dragon, as promised, we brought your beer.
Slade and Shadow walk on then come to the nearest locker room. They kick open the door and walk inside. Shadow goes to the center of the room where the bench is and sets the cooler down. Then they nod to one another and walk out of the room.
Slade- Don’t worry Glycerin. We did not forget about you.
The two of them walk to the next room and walk into it.
Shadow: Now don’t worry we’re putting your names on your doors so that you don’t lose your gifts.
Slade sets the bag down and reaches into it and pulls out two books He hands one over to Shadow who lowers it out of frame before the title is legible. Slade does the same thing.
Shadow: Glycerin, like Hypnotic Industry and Dragon you have yet to be seen. So we want you to know you don’t have any reason to sit alone anymore. Slade and I got a couple of things that will help you through this troubled time. We know you don’t know who your partner is this weekend. Or if the person Kitten teams you with even likes you so we want you to know that there are ways to make this work. Glycerin we got you.
Shadow holds up his book. The camera moves in to focus on it. We see it is a small orange and white book. Shadow reads the title aloud.
Shadow: ’Making Friends: Socializing and Other Reasons to Live.’
Slade- That’s right. Remember Glycerin we’re your opponents in the match but we can socialize with you.
Slade and Shadow both have very insincere pompous smiles on their faces.
Slade- Now this second book doesn’t really have to do with the match but the title seemed to fit the situation so we thought we might get them for you.
Slade holds up his book. it’s the same style but blue. He reads the title for the camera as it focuses.
Slade- “Coping with Loss: Why It’s Not Your Fault.”
Shadow: That’s right, its not your fault. You just suck. And we’re okay with that. We just want you to be okay with it. So we’re just going to leave these here and you can come get them Saturday.
Shadow gives a thumbs up and a bright smile as Slade picks up the bag and leaves Shadow follows behind him, with the cameraman trailing behind watching their backs. Slade turns around and walks backwards as they turn a corner into an empty hallway.
Slade- Next on our list is Haven’s Paradox. Now for those of you playing the home game, these guys are the current ECFW champions. Now yes I did put that emphasis on current because there has been a lot of talk about them losing those titles this Saturday. Some coming from me, some coming from Shadow and the rest coming from our other opponents, the Neurotic Outsiders. But we will get to them later. Rave, A.M.
Slade and Shadow stop in front of another door and do not open it. The stand there with their backs to the wall on either side of the door. The cameraman has a hard time keeping them both in frame, they are on the edges of the screen with the door between them They look like guardians of this doorway by the way they stand. Slade hands the bag to Shadow as he continues on.
Slade- Rave, A.M. you guys have been doing some strange things. You’re insulting Kitten, sitting in the dark, wandering around abandoned churches. Its just queer. And while you’re talking about me not giving myself unto the water, I have to say I just don’t want to drown. You claim to be the life that pumps the blood through ECFW. Yet how do you accomplish that sitting in a church weeping for the past. You think I brought back this beast to just get back into the spotlight? No Shadow has been aching to get into the ring again. And I know where I want to be and I am heading there. Everyone know ‘The Main Man’ is about to be on top where he belongs. No one is going to stand in my way of that. I live this business, it’s the blood that runs through my veins. You simpletons got it backwards. This business isn’t about you. You are about the business. Its your drive, you live it, breathe it, dream of it. You wake up in the night wrestling the invisible man. You guys sit alone in the dark, and it tells me that you have lost your way in this industry. So Shadow and I did something for you to help you out.
Shadow opens the bag and hands Slade a compact disk.
Slade- Because you guys love music so much we got you a nice CD. Its called “Mommy Doesn’t Love Me.” Now it even has instructions on the back on how the good little emo listens to it properly. You turn out all the lights and put on a candle in the middle of the room and play this loudly so that no one can hear you crying.
Shadow laughs but composes himself and goes back to a smile before he chuckles again.
Slade- You see we got you this CD for two reasons. Rave I’m not ripping on you for your dead fiancé, hell we all remember ‘The Main Man’ was married. And A.M. you don’t say much, I like that. It says a lot about you. That you don’t know what to say at all s you’re smart enough to keep your mouth shut. But this CD is for you guys to cradle your empty arms and hug yourself when we have take that gold from around your waist this Saturday. And we didn’t forget we got you something to go with this CD. They are incase you can’t deal with us winning the championships at King of Kings.
Shadow reaches into the bag as Slade tapes the CD to the door. The camera focuses on it something flies across the screen. Slade catches whatever it was as Shadow slaps a sticker on the door that reads “Haven’s Paradox”
Slade- Don’t take this the wrong way, but this is how I deal with emos. Remember its not across the highway, is straight on up to the finish line.
Slade and Shadow slap their hands on the door and pull their hands away. Tapes to the door now are two razor blades. They glisten in the fluorescent lighting. Slade makes the motions mentioned before. He touches either side of his wrists shaking his head. Then nodding he points to hi mid forearm and trails up to the wrist.
Slade- I want to be serious for a moment. You guys claim you relish in pain and that you will leave a slew of bodies behind when this match is over. Well when push comes to shove the A.K.A. doesn’t fade away. We have full intentions on winning that match and Rave I will be happy to show you exactly why I am going back to the top of the ladder. Furthermore I will make that sacrifice that you so eloquently speak of. I will give my all to attain glory once again. And when its over I will continue to rise above. Don’t you forget it.
Slade turns and Shadow follows. He drops the bag they proceed to head back down the path they were in prior to these segments. Slade and Shadow walk by Glycerin’s room and Shadow slaps his hand on the wall. The camera turns to face the door as it passes and it reads Glycerin’s name. Slade marches onward and calls out as Shadow slaps his hand on the first door they walked into. It reads Dragon’s name on it, not the Hypnotic Industry.
Slade- Follow us cameraman. We have one more gift to give.
Shadow follows Slade as they walk out into the parking lot. A cold wind causes the lens to fog just a little and Shadow’s hair whips in the breeze. They walk out and Slade turns to face the camera Shadow stands beside him as well.
Slade- Well this last bit is for you guys, The Neurotic Outsiders.
Shadow: Shannon Black, you run your mouth constantly about how we are at the top of your list. Well bucko, lets get one thing straight the past two week you have fallen short of driving home a winner in that nice little car of yours. You have faced Slade and lost, you faced me an lost. You haven’t gotten it yet, hopefully you can show Slade and I that you and ole J.R. Rose can do something in the tag team division because you damn sure haven’t proven you know a god damn bit about wrestling with in the past two matches.
Slade nods.
Shadow: I mean come on, you almost had me in a handicap match last week and you still lost. What’s wrong with you? Maybe I was wrong, maybe you are fooling yourself. You must love the view of the ceiling. Looking up at it from the flat of your back. We have shown you twice that we ‘have what it takes.’ So please get your facts straight. Your record when it comes to The A.K.A. is 0 and 2. Worse than the University of North Texas Football team. Its looking like you two are going to have the same kind of season that they did too. We are the ones who put fans in the stands. Our news story made nationwide coverage. Everyone knows our name. What do they know about you? That you lose to us.
Slade makes a hissing noise like he winced.
Shadow: Oh stings doesn’t it? You know what that bit is picking at your mind? Its pride messing with you. You think you’ve made it? You’re one of those people who suffer from hallucinations of grandeur. If you were going to be a real superstar you would have made it already. And J.R. Rose we all know that you're really bitter about losing the King of Kings tournament. And it must be why you think the rest of the show is garbage. Listen, I will happily show you why you lost the tournament. And you are right about something. The tag team will be the pentacle of the culmination of the night's events. But you wont be the ones to steal the show. And I will happily put your ego back on the mantle with that World Heavyweight title you 'once' had.
Slade turns and walks off the screen.
Shadow: You know I am looking forward to wearing that belt around my waist come Saturday night. And the House of Rapture is keeping it warm for me. Black, Rose, you guys may be visualizing yourselves with the belts. But thats all its going to be. I guess you haven't figured that you haven't beat us yet, and it isn't going to start now. But something that is starting right now is the countdown. Not to some bloody massacre, or some violent wave of seething hatred. No.
He shakes his head and grins.
Shadow: The countdown to end of Haven’s Paradox’s title reign. And like everyone who keeps saying there will be a New Era in ECFW. Not the survival of The House of Rapture and not the return of those less than lovable amateurs, The Neurotic Outsiders. No its time for people to remember the A.K.A. The fans have already gotten it through their heads and they once again realize that we are those amazing, astounding, ass kickers. And we will be happy to teach you two exactly what that means. When the match is over and you’re looking at us with water dripping down your face that you swear is sweat, but we all know what it is. You will know for a fact that we weren’t lying about anything. And that you couldn’t do it. You just couldn’t win and you never will be winners. And when you aren’t a winner… Well you know what you are then.
Shadow smirks big and chuckles.
Shadow: But don’t feel bad. And with your mention of stealing things we are glad we have something in common. Because we got you guys something to remember us by. You see, we thought about everything we’ve done to you in the past two weeks. Beating you down, making you take a pay cut because you keep losing to us. Well and we wanted to show you that no matter what happens we will show you guys how to please the crowd, and go out with a bang. So we thought long and hard about what to get you for King of Kings. And we decided the best thing to do was to give you something we figured you‘d want back..
Shadow starts walking around the parking lot. He starts by heading to the left. Then, something begins to come into frame. It’s the Chevy Cobalt. Shadow walks by and runs his hand up the trunk along the room to the hood as he passes by it.
Shadow: You guys have good taste in vehicles, I’ll give you that. And we wanted to make sure you got it back. So here you go guys its waiting for you here in the American Airlines Arena. Parking structure- A, spot- K , level- A. So please feel free to come get it and we will see you gentlemen at King of Kings!.
Shadow grins as suddenly there is the roar of a very loud and powerful engine. The camera zooms out and turns to see a giant monster truck that is black with green and blue paint. The license plate reads ‘AKA 4 LF.’ The camera zooms in on the windshield and Slade is shown sitting behind the wheel. The engine revs and black smoke shoots out of the exhaust. The truck swells and shudders like a monster preparing to attack. Slade lets out a yell and a laugh over the noise of the engine as the vehicle roars down the parking lot. Its roof millimeters from the ceiling of the parking lot. The truck his the Cobalt going at least 45 miles per hour. The huge wheels crush the hood as they roll over it. Glass shatters and flies as the treads grind their way over the fiberglass and metal frame. The engine roars once again as Slade floors the pedal and drives over, or though however you want to believe, the once beautiful Chevy Cobalt. Once the car has been crushed and the truck is a few feet past the remains of the car, he stops the truck and Shadow runs to the other side. You see the passenger side door open and Shadow climbs in. Slade, with a grin that shows no remorse and that he just had a blast, waves to the camera as they roar off and out of sight. The Truck is seen rolling out of the exit of the parking structure as the camera zooms in, but stays away from the wreckage. As Slade and them exit the remains of the car explode and burst into flames. The bang of the explosion echoes off the concrete as the ECFW logo comes up at the bottom of the screen and it slowly fades to black while the noise of the flames licking the night air remains.